April Fool

I literally despise April Fool’s Day. Hate it. I know some people appreciate the kind of “gotcha” humor that comes with such a day, but as an empath who goes through this world very attuned and quite sensitive, I find the passive-aggression and trickster mentality to be unbearable. I think making someone upset for the sake of entertainment is weird and kinda gross. I held my breath all throughout the day yesterday, waiting for someone to try to pull a fast one on me. Luckily, both class and work were prank-free. Phew.

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Also…

I have a memory of April Fool’s Day from when I was a little kid. Based on where we were living at the time, I must have been either 3 or 4 years old. My biological mother wanted to play a prank on my Grandmother. She got out her makeup and created all of these “marks” and “bruises” all over my body. She also put my arm in a sling. Then, when we went to visit my Grandma, she asked me to limp and “act really sad” when I walked in the door. I did. My Grandmother was immediately horrified at the site of me and started asking what happened. My bio mother told her I’d fallen down the stairs in our apartment building and broken my arm. My Grandmother was visibly distressed and turned to comfort me. I kept the charade going until my bio mother burst into laughter and yelled out, “April Fool’s Day, Ma!” My Grandmother admittedly laughed, but she also asked me to go wash off my fake injuries and remove the sling immediately.

This whole memory just freaks me out.

Why did my bio mother think this would be a funny thing? Why would she upset my Grandmother just for the sake of a good laugh? Why do people do this to each other at ALL?!

Also, this prank is particularly NOT funny because by this time in my life I was already being physically, emotionally, and sexually abused (in part by the very person who created this oh-so-hilarious prank). I already had legit marks and bruises. I already was broken and hurting. But no one saw that. Or at least no one did anything about it.

And that is not a joke.

P.S. The incomparable and legitimately hilarious John Oliver totally agrees with me:

26 thoughts on “April Fool”

  1. Anxious Mom says:
    Reply

    I can’t even wrap my mind around that type of “prank,” let alone one involving your little one. That’s sickening and just plain cruel. And then there’s the rest of it…((hugs))

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Katy Messier says:
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    I’ve always hated pranks and any kind of humor at someone else’s expense, shows like Americas Funniest Videos usually just disturb me and I do anything but laugh. I’m also an empath and I just can’t figure out why we are supposed to laugh at someone else’s pain or humiliation. What your mother did though..that shouldn’t be funny to anyone. You deserved to be safe – all children do, and instead it was treated as a joke. I wish I had more words but I wanted you to know you aren’t alone in this.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Andi says:
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      Ugh. My bio fam used to watch AFV every week and I HATED it. I still can’t stand Bob Saget because he reminds me of that show. Thank you for your kindness and support, Katy. xo

      Like

  4. ambivalencegirl says:
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    I can’t get this typed and I can’t figure out how to erase comments from my phone and start over. But things seemed funny at the time and being a child is difficult enough. Then all of a sudden the reality would hit me and the laughter turned to panic and humiliation and shame…
    Also I read that “surprise” emotion is much like fear. So when someone “surprises” us it triggers us into our old fear response. I hate practical jokes and. I hate surprises no matter how nice. I actually don’t like from st. Patrick’s day to April fools to Easter.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Andi says:
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      It’s okay, I deleted the “false start” comments. The app is funny like that sometimes if you’re on your phone. It totally makes sense that “surprise” would elicit the same response as fear (and explains why I find it so intolerable). I don’t like that period of time, either…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Boost Connection says:
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    I ditto the hatred of April Fools. And of course I absolutely despise how your bio parent was priming your other relatives to ignore and downplay the actual child abuse happening while priming you to be a victim with no one to turn to. Fucking classic. UGH!

    My “UGH!” did not express enough contempt. Let me try again. REMEMBER THE TIME CHILD ABUSE WAS FUNNY… OH WAIT, ME EITHER BECAUSE IT’S NOT NOW OR EVER. I FUCKING DESPISE MANIPULATIVE, ABUSIVE ASSHOLES!!!! SHE COMMITTED LEGITIMATE FELONY CRIMES AGAINST YOU AND SHOULD BE IN PRISON! UGH!!!!

    /rant

    Sorry I emoted all over this comment. It had to be done.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Andi says:
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    Please, tell me how you really feel. It is not clear 🙂

    Seriously, though – rant away! It is admittedly hard to hear sometimes, but I’m beginning to realize that I deserve to have people be pissed off about this stuff. It’s about damn time.

    Like

  8. Cat says:
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    I certainly did take the prank pledge. I was a little surprised to see pranks on blogs yesterday and my heart did sink a little before I realised they were April’s fool. I love the utube video’s when pranks go wrong… they get their just deserts. I used to think of myself as an empath. It came from living with very volatile parent’s and having to read their facial expressions and body language to judge the risk. But, Paranoia has kinda got in the way of my perceptions of late.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Andi says:
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      Yep, I think that’s also exactly where my empath qualities developed – having to constantly attune to the adults around me to predict their behavior. What do you mean about paranoia?

      Like

      • Cat says:

        I mean, I’ve always been highly sensitive to feelings and atmospheres, but in recent years, I’ve experienced a lot of paranoia and find my perceptions aren’t as accurate as they once were. So, when I think I am ‘tuning in’ to someone’s emotions, there are times when I am inaccurate due to my own paranoia.

        Liked by 1 person

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