Interpretation of Dreams

In Friday’s session, I talked about both the nightmare I shared here as well as the nightmare I had the following night. Turns out this therapist is actually quite interested in dream analysis. When I subtly segued the conversation into me having a seemingly important dream, she immediately picked up her notebook (which she normally never writes in during sessions) and asked if she could write it down. Although I generally hate when therapists do that, I knew she just wanted to remember what I said accurately, so I told her I didn’t mind.

For the first dream, she was very moved and said something like, “Aw…that is very touching” once I finished explaining the role she played in calming me/River down during the nightmare. She said she thinks it’s a good sign of where we are at in the relationship right now. I appreciated that she kept it anchored in the present tense because it shows that she understands how scary the future can be for me in this particular space. She also noted that the dance sequence seems to interrupt bouts of hysteria and rage, suggesting that (for at least one Insider) dance may represent the only way they know how to communicate other emotions such as disappointment, fear, or helplessness. Then she asked some clarifying questions about the family friend and when I explained a little about this person, she said, “I can understand why you wouldn’t want to go with this person who thinks your parents are wonderful people!” She also asked about the role of financial stress and I talked a bit about how my parents were always super stressed about money and put way too much of that burden on their children. With my wife still lacking a full-time salaried position, it’s been difficult for us (which is now going on six months of under-employment).

For the second dream, I was also in my childhood home, but I was a little older (around 15). My biological father was chasing me around the house and I jumped out my bedroom window onto the roof (something that has happened in real life). He threatened to come out after me. I said, “Go ahead. But it’s you or me…only one of us will survive this.” He climbed onto the roof and in mere seconds, I just shoved him off and he was dead. My biological mother, however, then showed up in my bedroom and screamed through the window that she was going to catch me and murder me. I climbed off the roof via the porch beams and started running for my life. I ran and ran until I couldn’t anymore. Then I somehow had my cell phone so I started calling people, but no one would help me because they “didn’t want to get involved in family business”. I eventually contacted a friend who said her aunt would help me, so I started walking to her house.

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