Falling in Love

I’m falling in love with my therapist. 

Of course. 

Who wouldn’t fall in love with someone who gives them undivided attention, validation, support, safety, kindness, compassion, and attunement? 

Also, she’s smart, funny, and attractive. 

Today, I told her as much. She was super interested in what I had to say and encouraged me to keep bringing these feelings into session. 

Still, somehow this feels awful. I want it to stop. Intense emotions, good or bad, are very painful and difficult to manage. And I struggle to understand what this all really means. 

I feel so raw, so exposed and wide open. I feel frightened. I feel anxious and ashamed. 

It also feels good. Really good. 

What a mess. 


14 thoughts on “Falling in Love

  1. twinkletoes2017 says:

    I’m right here with you! Or at least I was until my session yesterday, right now I’m caught up in that. But I get what you mean. I think I love my T too… she’s like the mum I never had, the mum I always wanted. It makes the length of time between sessions feel like forever! I think this is all part of the transference that we’re meant to feel… I think? And I think it’s how we change our attachment from insecure to secure… but anyway, I understand. It’s bloody scary isn’t it? Particularly if you’ve been fighting the feelings like i have for 2.5 years!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Amanda C says:

    You’re totally right. “Who wouldn’t fall in love with someone who gives them undivided attention, validation, support, safety, kindness, compassion, and attunement?” I basically told my therapist the same thing a couple weeks ago. So I totally understand. You’re very brave for admitting that to her. And it will eventually be less messy ….ish. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Paper Doll says:

    The sentence that Amanda pointed out, that’s absolutely true. And it helped me feel less shame around falling in love with my therapist. I’m glad her response was encouraging, and I think your ability to bring it to her shows great courage but also a wonderfully formed therapeutic alliance.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. La Quemada says:

    The good thing is that they know that. Therapists know that what they give us is so precious and rare that it’s easy for us to fall in love, grow dependent, make them a substitute parental figure or some version of that. Those with humility and integrity will accept those feelings and handle them tenderly and with respect. I can imagine it must have been hard to bring those feelings into session, but how brave and wise of you to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Andi says:

      This is true. I think my therapist was happy that I didn’t approach this from a place of shame because she recognizes how powerful the therapeutic relationship can be. But the feelings are all still very intense and difficult to hold and regulate.


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