June 27th

Today is the anniversary of yet another trauma. Kind of an important one, in a way. It’s the day our neighbor sexually assaulted me. I was jogging home from the elementary school. He stopped me to ask if I wanted to check out the bike he was working on in his shed. He was cute. Blonde. 23. I said “sure.”

June 27th 1998.

It feels significant because it was the first time someone outside of the family hurt us. And (a year later) it’s the first time any of us actually told anyone about someone hurting us.

I told a friend who told a friend who told a friend who…you get it. Then, eventually, an older friend in college told my school guidance counselor who told the school psychologist who told the parents. They pretended to believe me in her office, but by the time we got back home, I was a “liar” and “attention seeker”.

My friends didn’t believe me. Or they were just shitty about it:

Things like that don’t happen to people like us. 

Who would want to rape you anyway?

Well I wouldn’t have gotten myself raped in the first place!

I forgive them. The friends. We were all young and dumb. But the parents? Fucking assholes.

That school psychologist though. She was great. She told me I could tell her what happened, in as much or as little detail as possible. So I did. She believed every word.

And now we call her “Mom”.

Maybe we needed to go through that to find her. Perhaps that was our fate.

Idk. Feeling lots of mixed emotions and just wanted to share.

-Julia

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18 thoughts on “June 27th

  1. jaklumen says:

    Hiya Julia.

    Terrible, this. Sadly… not too unusual. Cimmy & I still face crappy attitudes, from time to time. I can still remember when she got blowback from my side of the family about her blogging about her story. It was my turn recently. It’s in my latest post as of this comment, but please do ask if you’d like the link.

    I did tell Andi I would keep both of you updated about therapy. My T called in sick last Thursday, so I will see her on Monday. I hope this upcoming session I will draw an affirmation from the basket that’s easy to blog about again (last one I couldn’t seem to write up). Guess I’d better just tweet what the slip of paper says, and then that’ll be out there, and we’ll see if a blog post follows.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cat says:

    This is so awful to go through, Julia, and it only impact on the belief that we cannot trust people, family or otherwise, but thankfully we have an opportunity to heal through therapy

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anxious Mom says:

    I can’t imagine going through something like that and to get that treatment after trusting anyone enough to tell. Major hugs to you, but I’m glad you were able to find your “Mom.’

    Like

  4. Rachel says:

    I’m glad you are sharing about your experiences and mixed emotions. I appreciate getting to know you. I hope the anniversary felt different this time around than other times, now that you are working so hard on healing and growth.

    Like

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