Today was sorta better. I didn’t go to my sister’s house until much later in the day. Her husband was off from work from his day job, so I thought I’d just let them spend some time together with the younger two kids. He works a lot, so they don’t get to see each other often and he rarely sees his children. Plus I have been feeling very saturated with social interaction, so I needed a morning to veg out in semi-silence.
I planned to do some studying for an exam I have on Monday, but I actually just played on my phone, watched Hulu on Mom’s iPad while doing the elliptical machine, and then proceeded to watch another episode on Hulu after I finished. So I didn’t even get dressed until closer to 2pm and I most certainly did not study (for yet another day…*sigh*). Then we headed out to pick up groceries and made it to my sister’s just in time to make dinner for everyone before my brother-in-law had to leave for his part-time evening job.
We watched TV and colored until the girls went to bed around 7:30. Then, for the first time, it was just my sister, my wife, and myself. We normally head back to Mom’s around this time because I don’t like to stay out too late and my sister is usually exhausted from being up with the baby all night. But I had a feeling my sister needed to talk, so I just stayed put and let the conversation unfold.
Turns out that on top of the regular drama related to financial struggles, her mother living with her and basically living OFF her and her husband, and the fact that the trauma of our past has come to smack her right in the face, she also recently discovered that her husband had “wandered” while she was in her second trimester.
Jesus help me, I wanted to kill him. I did not.
But….seriously?! What the fuck is wrong with people??? He had a beautiful wife who loves and cherishes him, two beautiful daughters, and a son on the way. WHO CHEATS ON THEIR PREGNANT WIFE?!?!
She wasn’t specific on what happened and it doesn’t sound like it was an affair, but it was enough for her to feel very hurt and angry and betrayed (which is more than enough). She said she pulled him aside when she figured it out and essentially told him that he better think long and hard about his actions because if she finds out he’s strayed again, she will take everything – including the children – and walk out on his ass. And she means it. Although I sincerely hope it never comes to that.
This is awful and I feel such sadness and anger on behalf of my sister. But I am so relieved that she shared this with me. We have not connected at ALL during this trip. We’ve just been two shells…two ghosts of people interacting in socially appropriate ways. It was killing me to feel such a disconnect and not understand it. I was mostly chalking it up to post-pregnancy exhaustion and all that comes with having a new baby. But now that she’s told me this, I can see that she is just smack dab in the middle of so much bullshit coming at her from just about every angle. And knowing what is really going on with her, regardless of how painful it is, allowed us to find a way to connect with each other again. Thankfully.
My heart breaks for her. She deserves so much better than this.