This blog is my little part of the internet where I get to be as open and honest as I want. It’s also a place I want the other parts of our system to feel comfortable sharing their own thoughts and feelings. I believe that staying anonymous grants us more freedom to do so.
Although I applaud and celebrate anyone who shares their story under a recognizable (and searchable) name that links them to their personal life, I am not at that point yet. I do sincerely hope to eventually reach a place where I can share my story in a more transparent manner, but for now, I believe it is safer to remain anonymous.
That being said, I also share Julia’s contempt for the word “host” and do not wish to ever be called that here or anywhere else. I don’t believe “host” is reflective of my role within the system at all. Also, it makes me think of tapeworms. Gross.
So I’ve thought about it and decided to create a pseudonym exclusively for the sake of making it easier for other parts to identify who I am and when I’m speaking (writing?). It seems a little odd to add yet another name to a system already filled with names, but I like to think it’s merely a stand-in, not an addition.
When I was in residential treatment a few months ago, another patient (who is now a dear friend) referred to me as “Andrea” for the first few days I was there. Andrea is a beautiful name (and the name of someone I love dearly), but, you know, not my name. A different patient/friend finally said “I know who you’re talking about, but that’s not her name.” At this point, however, it was a running joke and my name from that point on was “Andie”. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m listed in both of their phones under that name. It has grown on me and I always smile when they refer to me as Andie in group texts. So that is the nom de plume I choose. It’s not as epic as Robert Galbraith, but it will work 🙂
TL;DR – I, the main blogger and most commonly presenting part of the system, will from here on out be referred to as Andie.