Really?!

IMG_9377Life has been…challenging lately. Especially in the last few months years my lifetime.

But really though.

In October, my wife unexpectedly lost her job. It was all politics and HR bullshit, but still – we suddenly found ourselves without our primary source of income. Since I’m a full-time student, I only work part-time (and then there’s the added expenses of being in school). Wife has a part-time job as well, which thankfully allowed her to pick up more hours. She also does some freelance consulting. So we haven’t been without income, but as a couple it’s safe to say we’ve been seriously underemployed for almost five months.

Fast forward to the beginning of January. She was offered a new position, after an unreasonably long interview process. She was set to sign the contract on a Monday. The Friday before, she is contacted by a former supervisor. Said supervisor works for a new organization (a place Wife has been wanting to work for a long time) and wants to recruit Wife. This is a dream! The catch? The job is not a guarantee, but Wife will have to turn down the contract she was getting ready to sign to make herself available for this other company.

So we take a leap of faith and it pays off. She interviews for the new job and one week later, they offer it to her at 10k more per year than the previous salary offer! Hurray!!! Her start date is set for March 9th. We are so stoked!

And then it happens. Of course.

She gets a phone call Friday evening, around 7pm. It’s the supervisor. I know that a call at that hour cannot be good. I was correct. Turns out the agency has a new VP who wants to put a hiring freeze in place for an indefinite period of time. The supervisor claims she all but begged him to allow Wife to finish on-boarding, but no go. She also can’t guarantee when the freeze will end or even if the position will still exist once it does.

Really? REALLY??!

So now, five months later, my Wife has to go back to the drawing board and begin the job search all over again.

We are both just completely burnt out from the instability of this entire experience. And of course this all overlaps with Zooey’s sudden termimation of therapy and now this unexpected death of a loved one. I have had enough.

Listen, I know it could be worse. We could be totally broke and unable to pay our bills. And I know that Wife will eventually get another new job offer. But this is so hard. And we’re tired.

We’re tired of the uncertainty and the waiting and the fear. We’re tired of having to be strong and hopeful and optimistic. We’re tired of hearing “it will be okay” and “it will all work out.”

Yes. We know. But when? How? And what the hell are we supposed to do in the meantime?!

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21 thoughts on “Really?!

  1. Katy Sauer says:

    That’s so much to deal with all at once – it makes sense you are tired of hearing the same stuff over and over again! Of course it could be worse, it could also be a lot better – doesn’t change what it is right now. Sometimes I have to just let myself feel overwhelmed before I can feel anything else (like even remotely hopeful). Won’t try to cheer you up, but wanted to let you know I empathize and you aren’t alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kat says:

    that indeed is the question i always respond to ‘it’ll all be fine’….yes, i know that. what i don’t know is what do i do until that happens. any answers from anyone? no. no one knows what do until ‘it is fine’ again.

    good luck and hoping you have some room to cutback on and help make things last longer til wife finds a new position.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Zoe says:

    This. This. This. All of this. 100% feel you. I hope something turns up soon. The last thing anyone needs is financial instability. So much crap can come out of that one. Hoping for you both!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sara J says:

    Ugh, I’m so sorry to hear that, that suuuuuuuuucks 😦 Wish I had something more constructive to add, but no, that’s just totally shitty. I know you guys will get through this, but I also know how hard it is right now.

    Liked by 1 person

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