V-Day or “50 Shades of Abuse”

tumblr_njjddxr5cR1ql1yw8o1_540In college, I directed “The Vagina Monologues” as part of a V-Day event. V-Day is a global fundraiser/awareness campaign to end violence against women and girls, launched by “Monologues” playwright, Eve Ensler. The play is a series of monologues, each detailing the real-life experience of various women with sexuality and sexual violence. This event always happens around Valentine’s Day, which allows the V in V-Day to stand for Victory, Valentine, and Vagina.

So I suppose it is only fitting that “50 Shades of Grey” – the erotic trilogy that allegedly reads more like rape fantasy – should be released the day before Valentine’s Day itself.

To be clear, I firmly believe that informed, consenting adults are entirely welcome to engage in whatever form of sexuality they deem exciting. But article after article asserts that this film, and the book it is based off of, are a far cry from the safe, consensual BDSM culture I’m referring to.

It is for that reason, I will NOT be seeing this movie. Ever. And I encourage you to skip it as well. In fact, why not do the opposite and throw your money at #50dollarsnot50shades. Or, if you’re not in the giving mood, here’s some other online material you can read and or watch instead:

Review: I Sat Through Fifty Shades of Grey, And Now I Thirst for Male Tears by The Mary Sue’s Carolyn Cox

To recap: the Christian Grey experience depicted in the books and to some extent in the movie includes but is not limited to stalking, gaslighting, manipulation, forced alienation from one’s friends and family, and rape threats. None of those behaviors are part of BDSM. None of those behaviors are acceptable in a relationship. Fifty Shades (the movie) presents a less explicitly abusive dynamic than the firstFifty Shades book, but that’s in no way an endorsement of the film. If anything, that just makes its influence scarier.

“50 Shades of Nay” from Australian News Anchor Lisa Wilkinson:

“50 Shades of Grey” is quite simply the worst movie I have ever seen…It’s domestic violence dressed up as erotica and if there’s on thing this movie is NOT? It’s erotic.

Or look at these fancy graphics. I left them small on purpose (some of the content may be upsetting), but you can click to see the full-sized versions:



tumblr_nj04xroJ8g1rjsbhwo1_540 tumblr_nj04xroJ8g1rjsbhwo3_540
tumblr_nj04xroJ8g1rjsbhwo5_540Screen Shot 2015-02-12 at 9.31.22 PM tumblr_njog50Y3ai1t0githo1_500Exactly. No thank you.


11 thoughts on “V-Day or “50 Shades of Abuse”

  1. Zoe says:

    I had the tragic misfortune of having to read the first book. I was a reviewer for a blog and that was my book. Actually, I had no idea what it was about, but the moment I started reading it I wanted to puke. As a victim of sexual abuse… let’s just say I had to quit even my gig at the blog because I refused to finish this book and I certainly couldn’t objectively read it either.

    I have a friend who is into BDSM and she says the entire novel is a disgrace. There are 50 Shades of Wrong with this content.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ambivalencegirl says:

    Can you guess who wanted to read this book that I know? Yep, my mom. Ughhh. Luckily she has a tough time reading nowadays. Before I stopped seeing her she expressed interest and a knowing that the movie was coming out. Last year I would have taken her to be kind and made myself sick. But not this year. I’m almost as angry about this movie as I am about bill cosby. Ughhhhh. And being blindfolded sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

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