Today is the one year anniversary of my first session with Zooey. I thought about it a lot and decided to send an e-mail to reach out and feel connected to her in some capacity. I don’t know if that was the right call, but I also don’t know if there even is a right call on this. I’m just trying to use my instincts to figure out how to get through this post-termination weirdness. She gave me the green light to reach out to her once I was settled into a referral, but wasn’t terribly clear on what, exactly, that meant. Anyway, here is the e-mail. I’m totally open to feedback on this, btw.
I don’t know if you remember this or not, but our first session was one year ago today: February 3rd at 5pm. I also remember that I first called you on January 31st, which is when we set up that appointment. Seeing how it’s sort of a “therapy anniversary” time for us, you have been on my mind a lot these last couple of days. So I wanted to send a message to acknowledge this past year.
I also wanted to tell you that I’m slowly settling into new treatment. I thought that perhaps you think about me and wonder how I’m adjusting since termination. I actually have a new treatment team now. I see a regular therapist every week and I also have a new psychiatrist who specializes in trauma that I see less frequently. She’s also a psychotherapist and she has been working with dissociation and doing “parts” work longer than I’ve been alive. She confirmed the DID diagnosis almost immediately. She also wrote me a prescription for propranolol, which made me laugh since that was the one medication you’d been suggesting from the beginning.
And actually, now that I’m writing this e-mail, I want to talk a little about that….
I wasn’t planning on reaching out to you for a while and I don’t intend to do so regularly, but I really just wanted to feel connected to you in some way today. It’s admittedly strange to navigate our post-treatment contact, but I want to be clear that I thought about this carefully before reaching out to you. It’s important to me to be appropriate and respectful of both of our space and feelings, so please feel free, at any time, to clarify what you’re comfortable with.
I hope you are well and staying warm 🙂