This was a tough day. I woke up with a migraine. I would have given anything to stay in bed, but I had a group project meeting to attend and then work from 1-6pm. I seriously considered bailing out on both, but I somehow found the strength and motivation to get out the front door. Now it’s 11pm and I really should wind down to make sure I get enough rest for tomorrow’s midterm, but I can’t because I feel so unsettled.
This time of year is hard. January is a tough month – it just sorta hangs there, being cold and dark and boring after a series of holiday-filled celebratory months. Then February hits with it’s coldest-month-of-the-year bullshit and by the end, I’m just a puddle of blah. By the time Spring starts to make an appearance, the sudden onslaught of sunlight makes my brain explode and my anxiety skyrockets.
It’s also trauma anniversary time for me. This period of time from mid-January to the end of February is riddled with anniversaries. There are so many of them throughout the year, but this particular series is awful. Even when I’m completely oblivious to the date, my body (and the system) somehow always knows.
It always remembers.