Ugh. So I decided to start a blog just to document the bullshit known as therapy.
I was seeing someone for 10 months, twice a week, when suddenly she terminated out of nowhere. It was cruel and unprofessional and heartbreaking. It’s been one month since then and every day is hard. It seems to get easier with time, but yesterday morning, I found myself crying on the way to school. I couldn’t even figure out why until I realized the date made it exactly one month since our last session. I felt so lost.
I don’t know why she did that to me (“she” being my (former) therapist Zooey). I spend pockets of time here and there throughout the days just wracking my brain trying to figure out what went so wrong. I replay our conversations in my head and try to decipher what this meant or why she said that. I try to figure out what the fuck I did wrong.
But I think mostly I just miss her. I don’t miss being in therapy with her, because that had become a total mess. But I miss seeing her, talking to her, just being near her.
It hurts. A lot.